For my Father

The darkness is a funny thing. It can carry the stars, the moon, and sweet slumber on its wings, but it can also provide a cover for monsters to prowl, stretching their black claws and growling at their growing hunger.

When I was younger I used to be afraid of the dark. Unwilling to walk down an unlit hallway or step down from my bed, afraid there were monsters waiting to take a bite with a menacing smile and glistening teeth. But you were there to tell me to not be afraid. That those kinds of monsters only lived in my head. And that bad dreams were just dreams and nothing more.

I never told you, but Poltergeist was always one of my favorite films as a kid. Because I knew that if that ever happened to me, you would be the one to find me and bring me home. I felt safe knowing you were nearby.

As I got older I learned to fear the monsters in the real world – the ones that hid in the shadows and lurked around corners. The ones that used blades and guns in lieu of teeth and magic. The ones that couldn’t be written off as stories. But you taught me to defend myself and to trust only those that had earned it. You taught me to go down swinging and to fight until the end, whatever the outcome.

I live in the darkness now. I use it as inspiration, hoping to scare my readers and give them that exciting rush of adrenaline. It’s a grim place where sleep is hard to come by and the crawling monstrosities all cry out for their time, but it’s a world I’ve come to love. The old stories of vampires and witches still resonate with me, and I have learned a healthy fear of the people that surround me as I venture out into the world. And I’ve gotten all of this from you.

There is still fear. I still wake in the middle of the night from a bad dream and I still worry about walking to my car in the dark of the night, but I don’t worry for me. You helped me there – I will face whatever hardship and try to keep moving my feet, using the strength you gave me. Instead, I fear for my own children. I pray that I will be able to teach them the same lessons you taught me. That I could be as good a parent as you are.

Happy Father’s Day